Posted in Random Posts

Haunted House Help

BOO!

Did I scare you? Aw shucks, I’m sorry. Here let me make it up to you by helping you prepare for an ULTIMATE HAUNTED HOUSE ADVENTURE!

You see, where we live, there are scattered abandoned buildings carefully guarded by police due to dangerous accommodations and structural defects and.. of course.. GHOSTS! But no, they won’t admit it.

Ever seen X-Files? Mulder and Scully? Well, they prepped me for this adventure (that I will never actually go through with because my darkness phobia is so beyond real, I can’t even close my EYES!) Kidding, kidding. About the eye thing though, not being afraid of the dark. That’s totes real.

Through one of longgggg email chains I was telling Nat that we were going to go to an abandoned building for one of our “friend dates”. (Don’t judge us, BE US.)

Anyway the conversation went like this:

LIZ: P.D. [Name hidden for multiple reasons!] Did you ever venture there in high school?! It took me forever to remember the name of it. TOTALLY CREEPY! We went during the day and it’s guarded by cops, but supposedly haunted. Like whaaat, lets go there, during the day of course…

NAT: Um did you just try and invite me to go to an abandoned house? ARE YOU EFFING INSANE? Have you not learned anything from scary movies? OH THAT’S RIGHT! You don’t watch any…….. We’ll need some supplies if we are doing this, please make a list of what you think we’ll need and I’ll verify if you’re ready to go…

LIZ: *challenge accepted*

 

Which brings me to my point. Here is my carefully thought out, well planned, even more well prepared list to have the time of your life (and live to tell about it):

Abandoned House Necessities List

– Police Scanner (on phone) to make sure the cops don’t catch us

– 13 flashlights, with extra batteries

– your machete, because, YA KNOW.

– rape whistles

– pocket knife

– mace

– two guys (to toss at anything ready to eat us)

– we need to wear dark clothing so the cops don’t see us over bright fucking light up clothing that we wear inside the building so we don’t lose each other

– water, because gotta stay hydrated before running like maniacs from pieces of paper floating in the wind

– snacks, because I am always hungry

YOU’RE WELCOME.

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